Bountiful Blessings

Marriage could be one of the worst things that could happen to lovers. And it could also be one of the greatest blessings that lovers could ever remember in a lifetime.

Marriage could be a disaster if both couple would try to live in an ideal married life. I also gauge myself as an idealistic person. There is nothing bad with it. But I should make a limit to it so as to reach my ideal in life—a happy married life.

To long for the ideal in marriage is to call for its disaster; and there is nothing ideal to it. To accept our differences no matter how painful and discomforting can be a step to a beautiful married life. (BrodNeil)

I can be very ideal in some ways as I can be very practical in many others. To love my wife throughout our married life is the ideal; but I don’t dream of having it on my record. I could get crazy forcing myself doing that. Perhaps I can just learn how to love her again and again each time I fall short of loving her. When things get rough for both of us, then perhaps I can learn to let go of other ideals and lover her again instead. Perhaps when I fall short of my temper because I want things my way, then I can learn to love her again and do it her way. Perhaps when the need is more than what we earn and I feel angry with it, then I can look at her and thank her (and love her again) for sticking up with me. To lover her again after getting attracted to someone is not ideal, but honest. Saying that I won’t be attracted to anyone else is nothing close to a healthy, transparent, happy married life. It is the lack of transparency that could give a spouse plenty of dark corners to hide into. And this dark corners could lead into a door way out of marriage.

There is a clear distinction between attraction and adultery. And perhaps only a very jealous spouse would ever think that what comes after letter A of attraction is the same as the letter A of adultery. But there must also be a clear stop after the first letter A of attraction; if not, one can end writing the other word instead.

Until now, no friend can ever say that my marriage (married life) is the ideal; yet all of them can vouch of my happy married life. My gratitude to my wife and children—they are blessings from God. A fulfilled husband and a father—if I may say; but never the ideal one.